2. Lies
Last time, we left your correspondent gazing in horror as the fingers of “knight errant” Don Quixote engulfed the neck of Thomas Hobbes (an apparition). Your correspondent stood by dumbstruck, wit-lost, shock-shaken.
Suddenly, a tug at his shirt and the voice of a peasant woke your journalist from his paralysis.
“Sir,” said Sancho, “if this man is not in fact the evil wizard Malifoto, and is, as they say, a ‘sheep in wolf's clothing,’ then shouldn’t we act, somehow, to stop my Lord from killing him?”
“But what can I do?” Asked the writer.
“Follow my lead,” replied Panza confidently.
Sancho Panza:Señor! Señor!
Don Quixote: Not now, Sancho! I have met my enemy at last! Revenge is mine!
Panza: But Señor this is not the evil wizard, this is...ummmmm...this is...
Sancho looked at the writer, shrugged, and gestured for him to speak.
Writer: Thomas Hobbes, sir! It’s Thomas Hobbes!
Sancho: Yes, and Señor Hobbes is not a wizard he's a... a....
Sancho looked once again to our writer.
Writer: A scientist!
Sancho raised his eyebrows, unfamiliar with the term. Quixote’s grip loosened not at all.
Writer: A political theorist!
The Spaniards seemed, again, clueless.
Writer: Oh dammit, he just reckons words or something! I'm not sure what to call him!
Sancho (to our writer): Don't worry, you'll get better at this, eventually.
Sancho turned to the Don, saying, “Señor, this is not Malifoto. It’s a trick!” Quixote’s face snapped towards Sancho in alarm at that word, ‘trick.’
“A trick!?” Declared the Don, “Why of course, stumbling upon Malifato thus at ease on a couch seems much, much too easy...easier than any killing of an evil wizard I’ve read of in all the books of chivalry.” Slowly, Don Quixote released poor Thomas’ neck.
“A trick! Yes! A trick!” Said Sancho, “Your enemy has cast a spell to make this man look so mousey, so evil, that you'd think him a beastly wizard. But really it is Sir Thomas Hobbes, a Knight of Britannia who saved a lady in distress named...ummm…”
Writer: Reason!
Quixote: A woman named “Reason”? This sounds absurd.
Writer: Yes, ummm…. Reason Stewart, daughter of… Lord Stewart?
The Don looked skeptical.
Quixote: And how did Sir Thomas rescue Lady Reason?
Sancho: He slew a great beast! *TURNS TO WRITER* Didn’t he?
Writer: Yes! It was...a… ummmm… Leviathan! He’s known throughout the land for slaying Leviathan!
Quixote lifted his shovel, turned to Hobbes, and put the spade to the man’s heart. “Are you indeed a knight, sir Hobbes? Did you in fact slay Leviathan, monster of the deep?”
Hobbes, distressing, looked to our writer.
***A SPOTLIGHT SHINES ON OUR WRITER. THE OTHER CHARACTERS FREEZE, AS THOUGH TIME HAD STOPPED.
OUR WRITER LOOKS AROUND IN CONFUSION FOR A MOMENT UNTIL A VOICE FROM THE AUDIENCE SHOUTS, “SOLILOQUIZE, DUMBASS!”
OUR WRITER STARES AT POOR THOMAS FOR A MOMENT, RETURNS HIS GAZE TO THE AUDIENCE, AND THEN BEGINS, DELIBERATELY, TO SPEAK.***
Writer:
And so it goes with those who love the truth more than their lives
That, eventually, they.... meet a situation… where… to live, they have to lie!
Dear Hobbes, abuse your language! Speak falsehoods for your life!
Save yourself, Beast Thomas, by saying something false!
THE OTHER CHARACTERS STAND FROZEN FOR A MOMENT. THEN HOBBES WALKS OVER TO OUR WRITER THOUGH QUIXOTE AND SANCHO REMAIN FROZEN.
Hobbes: Fool! Have you truly read nothing of my treatises? The first law of nature allows for me to lie. It is naturally the case that all men should seek peace, but, when peace betrays them, it is right that they act, no matter how, to save their own lives.
HOBBES RETURNS TO THE COUCH. THE SPOTLIGHT DIMS. THEN THE STAGE LIGHTS ALL TURN ON AND THE ACTION RESUMES.
Hobbes: It is true, sir Quixote, that I am a knight of Brittania, and that I rescued Lady Reason Stewart by slaying that foul beast, Leviathan.
Quixote: Sir Thomas, I bow to you. Please accept my humble apologies for the mistake. It is only, sir, that your appearance is all too… mousey, all too… wizened to appear as aything other than an evil wizard. But my adversary is powerful beyond comprehension, and I’m sure he has merely changed your countenance by his powers of illusion. He lays traps for me wherever I go.
Hobbes: Yes, yes, that’s right. Your evil wizard...ummm… changed my appearance to be like his own so as to...ummmm... fool you into thinking you’d...ummm….caught the right person.
Quixote: Sir Hobbes, slayer of Leviathan, you must join me on my quest. Having rescued Lady Reason, you understand, don’t you?, the evil which has beset our world. Sancho and I are questing to overcome this evil, and
Quixote bowed.
I would be much obliged were you to join us on our quest to vanquish this evil.
Hobbes: I remain at the liberty of my author.
Quixote: Who has authored you, man?
Hobbes: *gestures to our correspondent*
Writer: Yes, Don, sir Thomas will gladly join your escapades.
Hobbes: And so it is done.
Quixote: Then come, let’s depart. I’ve heard from many that my answers will be found from the Lady in White. Will you join me, both of you, in seeking her?
And so it was that our author, together with the Beast of Malmsbury, joined Don Quixote and Sancho Panza on their noble quest to destroy the evil wizard Malifato by seeking the wisdom of the Lady in White.
***
Thank you to everyone who has continued to read! And thank you especially to those who have reached out to me with their thoughts.
Next week, I’ll continue the train of thought that I started last week on facts. After that, more adventures from your correspondent!
Much love,
Josh
P.S. The entire purpose of this “newsletter” is to spur conversation and thought, so please comment or reach out to me if you have anything you’d like to share.